Protocol
by Beth6787
Summary: Set immediately post "Author, Author" in Season 7. Janeway and Chakotay are discussing some of the Doctor's inappropriate ideas...


Beth6787

14 January y

Protocol

Set immediately post "Author, Author" in Season 7. Janeway & Chakotay are discussing some of the Doc's inappropriate ideas...

It had been a very long day and they were both exhausted. Dinner had been a light snack but they were loathe to wrap the evening up without a pot of coffee and a few minutes reflection whilst getting a little physical comfort from the soft cushioning of the sofa.

Kathryn was playing 'mother' and pouring the drinks. She had even replicated a plate of cinnamon biscuits. Well, neither of them had consciously eaten much and this way they could ingest whilst not noticing they were doing so...actually -ironically - that pattern was one that had come to define them. The unacknowledged...in one form or another...

Chakotay sighed "In the interests of transparency and whilst we are on the subject of the Doctor's inappropriate behaviour..."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow "Surely, it cannot be worse than his holo-betrayal of his colleagues? ! I was sure he had plumbed the depths...even for him."

Chakotay grimaced. "Don't worry, his idea is dead in the water. I shot it down : though perhaps you should monitor just how much time Seven is spending with him..."

'Oh...come on Chakotay. What am I missing?"

"You are aware that the Doctor has been assisting Seven with her social development. Personally, I think it is more for his benefit than hers but..." he glanced up at Kathryn who was now starting to look seriously concerned. "Well. This is going to sound ridiculous and at first I thought I had misheard or misunderstood.."

Kathryn tapped his on the arm "Whatever it is Chakotay. Just say it."

He took a slow breath in and out and glanced at Kathryn before looking down at his coffee mug. Was she imagining it or was that embarrassment that flitted cross his eyes and a slight flush to his cheeks...

"This morning, just after the staff meeting, Seven asked me to come and review some confusing data in Astrometrics. I was a little surprised that she had asked me. If stellar cartography was confusing Seven then it was bound to be beyond my expertise. I suggested she speak to you but she was adamant that she wanted me to look first. So I went along. When I got there she sent Icheb off with a PADD to take to B'Elanna. Icheb looked as though he was about to object for some reason : then thought better of it and left us alone. And then..."

It was obvious that Chakotay was struggling. Whatever had Seven and the Doctor done this time? "Go on." She prompted softly "If it's this hard for you to tell me it must be pretty bad."

"That's just it Kathryn. On the face of it : it was silly. Nothing even. But it got me thinking..."

Now she had risen from her seat opposite and come to sit beside him, deep concern etched across her face. She was now saying nothing at all and giving him time to finish. Come on Chakotay. Just say it. You've thought it for the best part of the last seven years. He laughed softly, in a self conscious manner then just blurted it out "Seven propositioned me! Well she asked me out on a picnic and then said that she wanted it to be a 'romantic encounter'."

He glanced over at Kathryn who was trying to keep the astonishment from her face. And not succeeding.

"Yup. That was my reaction too. I asked her what had prompted her to make the offer, as we barely knew each other and were not accustomed to socialising together. I wanted to let her down gently but it seemed odd...it had literally come from nowhere. Then she told me that the Doctor had encouraged her to socialise more with her flesh and blood crew mates and that you had once encouraged her to explore romantic relationships...and...she had decided to go ahead. Apparently I was her preferred choice after assessing the credentials of the male crew members."

He could see the mixture of horror, amusement and embarrassment on her features and he sensed she was about to speak so he interjected "That's not the end of the matter. Of course I turned her down flat and she - naturally - wanted to know why. I told her that as First Officer, and de facto 'Deputy Captain' ,it would not be appropriate for me to engage in any romantic liaisons with a member of the crew. They were all my subordinates and should anything happen to the Captain : I would need to assume her role and be responsible for getting them all safely home."

Kathryn was regarding him intently.

"What was thought provoking was Seven's reply..."

Chakotay leaned forward and made himself busy pouring them fresh coffees, the ones in front of them now being unappealing tepid.

She couldn't help herself. She was now on the edge of her seat and she could feel her stomach tying itself in knots. She would not be able to eat or drink another mouthful if she wanted.

Chakotay took her hand and looked directly into her eyes.

"Seven was silent for a moment. Then she told me she understood. That it was obvious and she should not have asked me out in the first place. She then went quiet and said that - under the circumstances - the only person I could have such a relationship with would be the Captain. As both officers were jointly responsible for the safety of the ship and crew that would be the only combination that would not compromise me. Then she looked sadly at me and told me she was sorry that the Captain only regarded me as a platonic friend. That I must be lonely. ..."

He put the coffee pot down and turned to face her "Of course I assured her that we were both fine. That we were much too busy with our respective jobs to have time to even think about romance yet alone miss it. She seemed to accept that and then changed the subject to her latest Astrometrics report. It was beyond my scope of knowledge so I referred her to Jenny Delaney. ..."

Kathryn had understood the subtext. She had gotten up whilst he was talking about the work related matter and gone to gaze out at the stars. A position she had assumed for many years when she was struggling with her thoughts and emotions. Once the inner turmoil receded she would talk to him. He knew how this would pan out if he said nothing more...her guilt would surface. He would get a speech about how her parameters only applied to herself. Her position was unique etc etc. Yet he would know that she did not mean a word of it. She would have been devastated if he had accepted any of the - admittedly more subtle than Seven's - approaches he had received from female crew over the years.

And that was the point. Seven and the Doctor were absolutely right. The only appropriate relationship was between the two of them. Either that or they could stay in this pergatory of a limbo world until...well it could still be decades or maybe never ...

Kathryn had still not spoken. Was still fighting her demons. Well this time he was determined that they would not go unspoken. He stood and came to join her at the window. Standing slightly back and regarding the star scape too.

"The truth is I have borrowed your excuse - about protocol - for the last seven years Kathryn. Yes, of course I've had offers from others over the years. Usually towards the end of ship's social events. Either when we have all had a little too much synthehol or, I suspect, Paris had put one of the ladies up to it. I've always given the same speech and it's worked like the proverbial dose of barium. No one has tried their luck twice. In fact, Seven's reaction of expressing pity for me has not been an uncommon one. I've even had a couple of observations that it's a shame the Captain keeps herself to herself. They were stating the obvious. There is no protocol issue between the two of us is there? There never was..."

He had never seen her quite this tense. She had her arms so tightly wrapped around herself that her hands had turned almost blue. And he could see the uncried tears barely contained behind her eyes.

"Kathryn, please. Just speak to me. Whatever is going through your mind : I need to hear it. I need to understand."

She turned slowly to him. "Yes. I concede that it's true. A relationship between the two commanding officers would be far less problematic than between one of us and a crew member. The only other alternative is that neither of us...and that is the way I have accepted our lives are. Chakotay, I'm so sorry. I had not realised that you were having to reject so many offers for affection. That I had imposed a greater burden on you than myself. Obviously - as Captain - I am never propositioned.." Her voice was shaky and she gave a nervous almost laugh.

He had to put her straight once and for all. "Has it ever occurred to you - Captain - that the reason you are not approached in that way has nothing to do with your rank and everything to do with the fact that, without exception, every man on this crew regards you as 'spoken for'."

Now he had her full attention at long last. "None of them would dare cross me. Not because I'm the First Officer but because they all know that I'm in love with you. They've known that almost from day one. It's an unspoken understanding between men. Just as I'm pretty sure no one these days - apart from Seven - would have risked trying their luck with me. The ladies have all but given up on me and they would not want to cross you. They seem to think - and I have it from sources that I will not divulge - that you are in love with me too?"

She would not be able to hold those tears back much longer "Then your sources are pretty astute Chakotay. But.."

"Don't say it ! The truth is we already have each other's backs. Each of our command decisions is coloured by what the other thinks. If either of us were killed the other would continue to command to the best of his or her ability and get this crew home regardless. So the only aspect of our relationship that is missing is the physical. We already love one another so what possible harm could it do at this stage to admit it or...act on our feelings...?"

For the first time in seven years her brain refused to be complicit. It would not come up with any reason whatsoever to refute Chakotay's case. Not one. Now, standing here, her moment of clarity dawned. He was the most attractive man she had ever met, in all senses of the world, and despite everything she had done to undermine it...he still loved her. And only her. Passionately. After all these years...

With that she left him standing there and came back into the room carrying a very old and battered looking manual. He recognised it. Officer Training Manual 101 : Protocols for interpersonal relationships. Without a word she walked over to her replicator

"Computer. Recycle."

THE END

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End file.
